Life Lessons

I read online today that the teenager that was sent to jail for 30 days was released after a tearful apology to the judge that she disrespected. What he did worked. She was held accountable for her actions. It was probably the first time in her life she was held accountable for anything.

I can't imagine ever having behaved that way. There was a certain Fear of God when it came to my parents. My father especially. We were taught to be responsible. We were taught to take responsibility for our actions. We were taught to be respectful. Most importantly, we were taught that there are consequences for our actions. This is a lesson that must be given when parenting. It has to. If it isn't, decisions might be made by our children that can't always be undone by a simple apology.

About two weeks ago, Lily told us that Abby had stolen a cube from a teacher at school. It was a little plastic cube that is used as a manipulative in math. When Lily learned what Abby did, she took the cube from Abby and walked it back to the teacher and told her that Abby had taken it. As I'm sure you can imagine, Abby was very upset that her sister sold her out. When I learned of this, the world had a slight shift. I was absolutely furious. Furious and determined that this child would never steal again.

When I got home from work, Abby and I sat down and wrote an apology letter to the teacher. Abby cried the entire time. And whined. And complained about Lily telling on her. We had a very long, very firm discussion on why you don't steal and what happens when you do. She was afraid the teacher may call the police. My intent was not to scare her but to make her understand that this was not a behavior that can be undone as an adult. We talked about it for a long time. She was even more upset that I was taking her to school in the morning and walking with her to this teacher's classroom to hand deliver the note and give an apology in person.

I am hoping that Abby learned a valuable lesson and she will remember this. I am hoping that she will understand that there are severe consequences for breaking the law. I am hoping that she will learn that if she were ever to find herself in front of a judge period, AND was disrespectful to this judge, that facing me might be worse. I love my girls. I am their friend. BUT...I am also their mother and it is my job to mold them and teach them how to be good, solid, contributing members of society. It is my job to lead them by example on how you behave and live a good life. A little Fear of God is a good thing in my opinion. It only took me over 30 years to get what my parents were trying to do.